You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.
Psalm 139:15-16 NLT
I didn’t fully realize it at the time, but I was blessed with witnessing absolute joy and total perfection last week. At the moment, only the joy part registered, and then only partially…
Amy and I had taken our seats for the 11:30 service and, due to mingling a bit too long with others in the lobby, had only found seats way down front – second row. The worship leaders had already started the first song, maybe the second, and I closed my eyes for a moment of a silent ‘centering’ prayer – my way of asking God and the Spirit to clear out the constant parade of intruding thoughts that seem to be a constant in my mind, even during prayer or worship. I believe I am afflicted with CINS – Constant Input Needs Syndrome. I can best describe it as needing to be observing, processing, doing and thinking about multiple things at once, all the time. Few things give me respite – reading and writing for instance, but I digress. Squirrel!
Back to the thought at hand…
When I opened my eyes and began to sing, I immediately noticed (surprise!?) the young lady in the front row, one seat to my left. She was singing with joy and gusto, hands in the air, alternating her full attention between the praise band and her mother at her side. Her look was of utter adoration as she gazed at her mom. I would guess her to be in her teens, but possible twenties, it’s sometimes hard to determine – this young lady appeared to have Down’s Syndrome.
For the remainder of the songs, I could not help but watch her and marvel at the joy that radiated from her face. I’m pretty sure I was watching an angel, or at least one in training. It was a small reminder, a big gift to see and be reminded to find joy in every circumstance.
Fast forward one week later. I am reading a piece on how God views me, and the reference scripture was Psalm 139. I reached for my Bible – the real one, not the version on my iPad from which I was reading the article…multiple inputs! Verses 15 and 16 leaped at me and that young lady’s radiant face sprang into my mind’s eye.
You watched me as I was being formed…You saw me before I was born…
God saw this young lady forming with a third pair of chromosome 21. God made her, and God does not make mistakes or have oversights. Beyond my comprehensive or understanding, or even ability to understand, this young lady is just who and how she is supposed to be, she is perfect.
I have been pondering that thought and have decided I will take great comfort in it. You see, God made me too. Not that I don’t have things to work on. I will forever be a work in progress until the day I join him, but He made me – height, weight (okay, I have some play there and could use a bit of work), hair color, knowledge lines, sense of humor (properly couched), strong abilities, lack of other abilities, interests, disinterests. The list goes on and one of my traits (CINS!) is that I like lists.
I am who I am because of Whose I am.
• My house, my car, my bank account or my clothes do not define me.
• My circle friends do not define me, although they may say a lot about how I have tried to define myself.
• My bank account does not define me, although the world tries very hard to force that definition.
• My knowledge of the Bible does not define me, my relationship with the One who wrote it does.
I am who I believe I am. Like that young lady, I believe I am a chosen child of God, custom made by Him. Maybe I will sit in the front row next week!
